31 August 2006

Ask Yourself, Anymore

Today, like many others, began as another causal day of freedom. I walked the cat, beat a rug, donned my big ass Quaker hat and off I went to work. Again. What is today, Thursday? Driving fast as hell and going absolutely nowhere. The Japanese man next door always says, “Watch your back!” Take heed.

This is the age of zero tolerance. [And, don’t you think that “printer-friendly page” should be called “reader-friendly page”? I do.] If they can kick a kid out of school for bringing a table knife to cut an apple, then shit, I can tell the political pollsters calling my home at 8:14 p.m. to jump off a six story building. That’s just high enough that if it doesn’t kill you, it’ll maim you for a good long while…give you some time to think about your life. Your situation and your status.

It doesn't take long to go from David to Goliath, but it takes even less time to get back to David. It’s because I hate America, right?

It’s like rapid fire: ding! "U there?" Ding! "I have a question." Ding! Ding! "Can I call you?" My machine sounds like an old-fashioned gasoline pump, all ding-ding-ding-ding all day long.

Shut the fuck up, OK?! I hat technology because I hat myself. Big ass Quaker hate.

As little Bobby Dylan said, recently:

I don’t care what you do
I don’t care what you say
I don’t care where you go
Or how long you stay

Some day baby you ain’t gonna worry over me anymore

“Wallflowers? Wallflowers! Son, I love you and all but you’ll always be Bob Dylan’s son. And, motherfucker, I’m Bob Dylan!” That little Bob Dylan.

In the coming years, birch, ash and poplar trees will be able to grow in Greenland as the growing season as increased by two weeks in the last 15 years. Fifteen years! How do you like them apples? Just don’t try to cut that apple with a knife at school, kiddies. ‘Cuz I have zero tolerance.

Today, like many others, will end as another casual day of freedom. I’ll hang up my big ass Quaker hat, whittle for a while, and head off to dreamy slumber. As yourself, anymore: what am I doing for your company?